I vividly remember my grade one teacher tried to humiliate me in front of the whole class. It was around that time some of my classmates and I learned a new skill. We would stick our index fingers in our mouths as we closed our lips around it, pressing it every so elegantly against our cheeks and with a quick flick of the finger, it would make a loud and annoying (according to the teacher) popping sound. After the teacher refused to let this debauchery interrupt her trying to teach us our ABC’s, she loudly said, “the next person to do so will have to do it in front of the whole class.” Me being myself, I decided to push the limits and purposely made another “pop pop.” Soon thereafter, I found myself in front of the class, getting to do it in front of everyone, and the whole level just thought it was hilarious, apart from the teacher, of course.
Little did she know that would kick start my career as the class clown. By grade two, my first crush would sit in front of me. Her name was Beth. Great, now another reason not to pay attention in class. Up until I was about 10-years-old I had a terrible speech impediment. My grandma said all her kids went through it, and it naturally went away with age. I recall the grade 2 teacher asking me a question, and she made fun of the way I told the answer. After that, I would become mute in that class, arrogant bitch. They tried the whole speech therapist thing, and Hooked on Phonics, etc.; it was all a waste of time, as it was every little bit ineffective. Just let me go outside and play, where I can utilize my imagination, instead of being confined to a desk in a prison-like four-wall room with a chalkboard and a boring-ass teacher who likes to make fun of seven-year old’s.
By grade three, I was playing my own head games with the teacher. Her name was Mrs. Cree, and I made a point of not letting her see me smile the entire school year, which I succeeded in doing. Later, I would learn in psychology that it was a sign of me subconsciously crying out for help. She did not say anything until the last day of school when she finally asked me why she never once got to see me smile? I think my response was, “I don’t know.” Now, if I could go back, I would ask her, “why it took until the end of the school year to ask me?”
By grade five, I would have the opportunity to do that grade again, as my grades were well under par. Another sign of a subconscious outcry, I justified it by letting them convenience me. It was because I am a December baby and my mom just put me in school too young. If I had any confidence left inside me, it was now destroyed like paper going through a shredder. I lucked out, and we moved to a different town, so I didn’t have to go through that torturous class again. As the new kid in a small town, I did not have many friends the second time around. I did exceptionally well that school year, having high grades that I would never see again. Although, I did get 100% in drama in grade 12. As I drug my ass just squeezing by, barely passing the rest of my grade school career, I did make it through, somehow—changing voices and testosterone-filled blood pumping, fueling my popup sweatpant tents in grade 10. I had an English teacher who seemed to have an issue with the male population (I mean, who can blame her). Perhaps her grudge against men had something to do with her husbands’ alcoholism. To prove she was unfairly marking my work, I plagiarized a paper that my friend wrote the year before. She had received high 90’s on that paper, where I only received a 72% for the same thing word-for-word. Of course, that’s totally illegal, especially in a school, and plagiarism is for those who can’t think for themselves. Though, this was strictly a scientific naturalistic/lab setting study.
To understand where this crappy school system came about, I will briefly describe the history:
We are no longer living in the late 1880s and early 1900s, during the height of the industrial revolution. Where public school was invented so they could condition young people from an early age to stay in the same spot for 8 hours a day, thanks to that illiterate guy who created what we know today as–Ford, he successfully dropped out of school in grade 5, and he would go on to invent what was called–the assembly line. Adults don’t really want to stand in the same spot for at least 8 hours a day, never mind a child.
The textbooks were filled with many biases. It was okay to learn about other country’s checkered pasts. I don’t recall ever learning about the genocide and slavery First Nations, Africans, Asians and other ethnic groups had to endure in this great nation of Canada. I won’t even get into residential schools. Research shows the best way to get the maximum performance levels in grade school, especially elementary school, are as follows:
- Don’t start class until at least 10 am before 10 am MMA.
- Teach kids martial arts as part of a gym or START THE KIDS DAY WITH MMA as a curriculum for discipline, self-defence, reduction in bullying, etc.
- Only limiting school to 5 hours a day.
- An hour lunch, with two other breaks
- Only healthy foods, no sugar, fried foods, etc.
- Let the students pick their subjects and give them a wide variety of options.
- Teach theology at a young age and let the kids decide what religion they want to follow—if any at all
- No homework—Period.
- Most tests test your memory and not your knowledge—we should probably eliminate those.
- Less sitting, more hands-on activities
- They should start the morning with a yoga/meditation practice, followed by the ancient Tibetan Buddhist breathing techniques to get the brain’s proper blood flow.
- Teach kids the Wim Hoff Method from the get-go (if you don’t know who Wim Hof is, watch this, and it will blow your fucking mind, I promise)
- Parents should stop fucking disciplining their kids on how they are doing grade-wise but encourage them to be good at and have a natural interest in.
“I am not here to build a business; I am not here to build a corporation; Not here to build Schools; I am not here to build churches—I am no Mother Theresa. What I will do, though, is—lead a legacy.”
– Dean Mathers